“I noticed that you have a real monotonous voice, heheh…” 

“Yeah… I joined choral speaking from form one all the way to form five….but that really didn’t help my voice at all though I thought it would. Now I vary in volume so that I could sort of trick people into thinking that I have intonation. But I really don’t. It actually sounds worse when you record it really.” 

“Guess we’ll find out then. Anyway, have you ever had any problems with your monotonous voice?” 

“This might be one of the reasons why I don’t have many friends in primary school. But look, this is not some sad story okay. It’s more like, umm, I mean if you’ve got some sense of humour for my mishaps, then perhaps you can laugh a little bit. Basically, nobody could understand when I want to make a joke, unless maybe it’s my family because they’ve had me and my monotony from BIRTH! But all the time when I wanna make a joke, they think I’m DEAD SERIOUS” 

“Any stories come to mind?” 

“Lemme think for a sec….Yeah there was that one time somebody was asking me where one of our schoolmates were and I said ‘I dunno maybe he died or something’….AND HE HAD LIKE THE MOST FREAKED OUT FACE ON EARTH! If I were to describe his face, it would be like a Jihadi came into the room and went ‘Allahuakbar’ on him. And ever since then, I stopped making jokes.

“It’s not just my voice, but my whole FACE is monotonous. I’d liken my face to someone who’s high. I built a rep in school as one of the most polite person there ever was, simply because they couldn’t figure out what I was feeling, they obviously couldn’t tell it from my face. But there was this one junior in school and SHE ABSOLUTELY HATED MY GUTS FROM THE MOMENT SHE SAW ME. Apparently she thinks I’m a snob, and I have a face that looks like I’m not satisfied with anything in the world…you know…muka tak puas. But in the end that girl ended up being the junior I was closest with throughout my high school life.

“Would you consider your monotonous qualities a weakness or strength?”

“It’s actually both a weakness and a strength because, well, you know I said before people take me seriously ALL THE TIME so it’s hard to be casual around them. But best quality, is that I have the ability to MAKE people awkward….yes…..and even the TEACHERS end up feeling awkward around me. They could be around TWICE my age but I could still make a teacher feel like he was on his first date or something. And yeah now I see that as more of a hobby. But yeah it’s a useful tool to have.”